Well, here I am again. My weightloss journey has not gone well in the past few weeks. As I got into my baking groove I stopped watching what I was eating, not to mention eating all the sweet foods I’d been baking on a REGULAR basis.
However, I am here again, because in a nut shell, my health is in trouble. My body is in trouble, and to be quite honest my life is being threatened. And I’m scared. Specifically my heart. I come from a line of bad hearts and I have not been good to mine. Not by any streatch of the imagination. Over the past months I have had heart issues, but unfortunatly I have not listened to it, and done what I should have been doing by taking care of myself. To add to it, my body is now no longer processing sugar like it should, and so I know I am extremely close to diabetes if I’m not already there already. That is yet to be determind. So I’ve added on yet another reason that I have to make some changes in my eating.
Which is hard. because I LOVE food. no really, I LOVE it. I love the way it tastes, feels, makes me feel. I love the oral satisfaction it gives my mouth. I love all the different cultures and choices and selections. I love giving the gift of food. I love growing food. I even kinda love cooking it. Sort of. Baking I do love. Oh those sugar treats.
So making the changes is going to be even tougher before,when I WANTED to change. I don’t really want to change at the moment. But I know that this time I HAVE to change. Really, am I willing to die over a cupcake? How could I be that selfish to my family? To my husband and children who I would leave behind because I didn’t have enough will power to say no to a cookie. Seriously, I would rather live.
So here I go yet again on anouther journey. I can only Pray (oh and I will be praying!) that this one goes better than all the ones before it, because this time, its not about me anymore. Its not about what I want. Its about survival.
My first step in this process is quite obvious. I have to cut out Sugar. Oh my beloved sugar, how I will miss you so. I am cutting out as much sugar as I can, I’m sure it won’t be zero percent seeing as all natural foods are pretty high in sugar to begin with, but I am going to do everything I can to cut out all excess and added sugars. I am vowing to myself not even to lick the batter or icing off my fingers after baking. Siiiiiigh. Next is cutting down on fat as much as possible for my heart health. I’m sure that one will be pretty tough too. But I think the sugar is going to be the hardest. Cause ya see, as stated before, I love to bake. I even have a cooking blog going, (as seen in the links section) and most of it is focused on baking up to this point. Since I do love to do it, I will not be giving up baking. This makes my life change that much tougher. But I will find people to give as much of it away as possible. I will be doing my very best to not eat what I bake. That sucks. That will probably be the hardest challenge through all of this.
I do hope that one day I am healthy enough that I may get to once again enjoy the sugary goodness desserts, but right now, my body doesn’t have that kind of time.
So lets get started:
3/13/09
Breakfast
3 scrambled eggs
Breakfast snack - 94 % FF popcorn
Lunch
1 medium baked potato
1 small baked potato
2 cups broccoli florettes
1 slice cheese
1/4 tsp margerine
Afternoon snack: homemade baked pita chips
Dinner:
Pot roast veggies (wasnt interested in eating meat tonight)
2 biscuits (oh my sweet carbs)
Water:
2 glasses
